You know the saying, “Use your words.” Adults typically say that to small children acting out without words. But maybe we should add some caveats. “Think about how you use your words.” Or possibly, “The words you use can change your life.” Some of us, frankly, would love to stop acting out and would relish the chance to use our words and have them heard.

This was a recent Facebook post of mine:

you know what women like? what really churns their butter? when a person, but really not just any person, a man, especially a white straight protestant man, a religious, dogmatic, raised-to-be-in-control man, can acknowledge, without defense, his unknowing, his failures of understanding, his participation in the system, a man who can humbly take the leap of trying, of trying to feel the world most women and children live in, to think of the experience minorities (as in different from his sexuality, gender, race, religion) live in and realize wow, it’s time for me to slow down and listen because i am ignorant of that world. This woman anyway is into men like that. I’m hoping if anything good can come of this election season it will be from the growing voices of the silent minority whose worlds are starting to be considered if only because of the bravery shown and brutality suffered by the other that is harder and harder for such men to keep hidden. even if just one privileged man (please dear God!) who thinks he knows something about the world of the other (but who actually never asked) is open to change, it will bring me some solace. and to you men out there who are out there trying, and to whomever taught you, I seriously love you!

Okay. First of all, I know I used a lot of words. I guess I’ve been storing them up. Most of my posts are short and sweet, stuff like, TGIF it’s been a long week, but not that week, not this presidential season. I’m joining the ranks of dysregulated people out there who are trying to put some words to the insanity of what is swirling around our country’s political scene. And by last week, I had had enough.

A friend of mine surveyed her book club after the video of Trump and Billy Bush’s vulgar 2005 exchange about sexually assaulting women was released by the Washington Post on Oct 8th. There were six women and one man present at book club that night. “Who here has experienced unwanted sexual touch?” All the women (not the man) raised their hands. Of course, many men have been sexually violated- just not as many. Because let’s be honest, men are not having their bodies groped in a free-wheeling “grab them by the p—y” kind of way like women. My friend was too uncomfortable to share the how and how many times this had happened to her. I understand that.

I work with sexual abuse victims. And yet I could never have anticipated to warn my clients, to predict the re-traumatization that would happen this election term from the mouth of an actual presidential candidate elect. Of course, who could have imagined it? And now, due to the constant barrage of violating words and phrases circulating our feeds, the inconceivable has happened and the trauma seems inescapable.

But I’ve noticed a lot of people are doing something really important in response. We’re talking. And in my profession, talking can cure, talking can get people to change their behaviors because it gets them thinking, connecting; talking makes people see what they might otherwise ignore. We are talking more frequently and more honestly than we ever have about the experiences of the marginalized, and our words are creating validation and change.

Part of the reason why talking is making a bigger impact is the sheer volume of words is greater, higher, louder. And the volume is getting some of those white privileged men I was talking about in my post, to take note. You have to be living under a rock to not know about #blacklivesmatter because the crescendo has been building loud enough to permeate the psyche of our nation. This most recent incident has once again brought sexual assault and the world women live in every day back into focus. These most recent moments are made possible because of the many tragedies over the past several years that have increasingly been given voice. We are tired of not being able to use our words, and we are tired of others using words that don’t represent the truth. Who would have thought we would be adding #nastywoman this past week to words we claim as our own? That’s a triumph.

So yeah, a lot of people have had longer facebook posts this past year, and not just any people, but people of color, women, people that didn’t have a voice until very recently in human history. And you know what? Despite what Trump thinks, his words are working, but not as he planned. And our words, our precious, dysregulated words scribbled on the page, typed and retyped onto social media, in texts, words spoken aloud to the ears that will hear are creating real waves, waves big enough to break barriers many thought unbreakable. Our words are going to usher in the first female president.

So yeah, keep posting people! Use your damn words, over and over. Use them well.